In which Tex Hex plays by the rules.
There’s something wrong with my ears today. I’ve been wondering for quite a while if there’s something wrong with my ears full stop, since I’ve had immense trouble understanding various characters throughout my cartoon reviewing career, but the opening scene of this episode gave me problems beyond any which I have hitherto experienced. All I can say with confidence is that there’s a guy called Billy Bob in the desert talking to a green dinosaur called Diamondback. Diamondback responds in what is instantly recognisable as Cringer’s voice, but is entirely indecipherable.
Billy Bob and Diamondback happen upon a rich vein of kerium ore beneath a desert feature called Star Peak, which is incidentally where the Shaman lives. They head back to town to stake their claim to it; BraveStarr isn’t keen on the idea of mining under the Shaman’s home, but Billy Bob points out that it would be within the confines of the law. Looks like we’re heading for a story about fracking here.
To make matters simpler, Skuzz overhears the discussion and beetles off to tell Tex Hex about all the kerium beneath Star Peak. Tex Hex decides to try to claim the kerium for himself, partly to get his purple paws on the riches, but seemingly mostly to irritate the Shaman. I’m not sure what Tex Hex’s beef with the Shaman is, but let’s just go with it for now.
Through some clever little skulduggery, Tex Hex manages to get himself recognised as the legal owner of the land around Star Peak, and begins his operation by telling Billy Bob and Diamondback to clear off. This is something of a tactical error, since it brings BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty crashing down around his ears, and we all know how mental Thirty/Thirty can be when he’s riled up. On this occasion, however, Tex Hex welcomes BraveStarr and demonstrates that he is the legal landowner.
The plot now opts to take an approach slightly reminiscent of an episode of Judge Judy, though of course it’s Judge JB and consequently a little less insane. Anyway, the rival claims of Tex Hex and Billy Bob are heard, and after a case short enough to make legal history, Judge JB rules in favour of Tex Hex. Tex Hex indulges in an evil snigger and demands the immediate eviction of the Shaman, a demand to which legally Judge JB is obliged to acquiesce.
BraveStarr decides the best thing to do now is to quit as marshal and to go running to the Shaman. If he’s hoping for a sensible conversation at this juncture, he’s disappointed: instead, the Shaman just dribbles on about this hilarious time BraveStarr once broke a rule. BraveStarr is gracious enough to not simply say, “Cool story bro, tell it again,” but you can see him wondering why the Shaman can’t just give plain and simple advice rather than playing riddle-me-this.
Luckily, BraveStarr deciphers the stupid gobbledegook quickly enough to realise that he should start being marshal again, so that’s what he does, just in time to prevent Tex Hex running riot all over Fort Kerium. Thanks to Judge JB, it’s also determined that Tex Hex doesn’t have a legal right to Star Peak after all, and so everyone settles down to a well-deserved happy ending.
In today’s adventure…
BraveStarr and Judge JB indulge in a little bit of cringey flirting, in between telling us that even if we don’t agree with the law, we should respect it and obey it. Confusingly, the episode seemed to spend a fair bit of time telling us to obey our conscience instead of the law – the Shaman says words to the effect of, “If there’s someone drowning in a river, you don’t worry about trespassing.”
Character checklist
Oh good god, everyone’s in this one. There’s BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty, Judge JB, the Shaman, Billy Bob, Diamondback, Fuzz, Clem from the assay office, Tex Hex, Skuzz, the ubiquitous robot spider thing (who finally gets given a name, though it is Cactus Head so he’d probably rather it had been kept quiet), Vipra (the green snakey woman previously seen in The Taking of Thistledown 123), and Thundersteam. Wow. Character overload.
Insults
Tex Hex refers to the Shaman as an “old coot”, and also addresses Cactus Head as “needlehead”. This evidently annoys Cactus Head, to the point that he picks a fight with Thirty/Thirty, calling him an “ugly horse”. I was all prepared for a massive overreaction, but in fact all Thirty/Thirty does is respond by calling Cactus Head the rather mild “miserable excuse for a cactus”.
Eyes of the Hawk
A pretty sensible use of this skill comes when BraveStarr hears some gunshots and needs to know what’s going on.
Strength of the Bear
I thought we were going to get all the way through just one episode without hearing from this boring power, but no, it yomps up around about minute 19 so BraveStarr can escape from a massive snake.
Starr Rating
Hmm hmm hmm. It’s definitely better than last week, but then watching an experimental YouTube video of a tap running for 20 minutes interspersed with random shots of Nigel Farage’s gurning visage would be better than last week. This episode is decent enough, despite a few problems with plausibility – I don’t believe it can be legal for people to just lay claim to land where other people are already living. It raises an interesting moral conundrum about whether you should do what’s right or do what’s legal, and while this probably passed most of its intended audience by, it’s good to have an episode that gets you thinking, so I’ll say this one’s worth a watch.
BraveStarr Episode Review Site 