In which Handlebar makes friends with a bull.
BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty and Handlebar are enjoying a chilled-out evening, which comes to an abrupt halt when they receive a distress call from a boy called Altrim (last seen in the episode Rampage), who reports that a Kreng spaceship has attacked his village. All three of them set off to help, but en route Handlebar falls down a crevasse. BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty don’t stop to help. If we’re being charitable, I suppose it’s possible they didn’t notice his absence until it was too late, but I reckon they just couldn’t be bothered to help.
Once BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty arrive in the village, they occupy themselves fighting the Kreng and freeing the villagers, who had been captured as slaves. After a protracted scene in which Thirty/Thirty distinguishes himself with various acts of sociopathic behaviour, the Kreng retreat into their spaceship and fly off, taking with them Altrim’s sister Taran.
From their position of safety hovering above the planet’s surface, the Kreng get in touch to offer to return Taran if BraveStarr gives himself up. BraveStarr accepts, but naturally the Kreng go back on the deal. Once BraveStarr is aboard, he is knocked unconscious and placed in an electronic cage, and the Kreng start shooting at the village again.
Handlebar, meanwhile, has landed in a volcanic underworld inhabited by a large and angry bull called Rampage. Rampage keeps on headbutting Handlebar, but since Handlebar allegedly weighs 14 tons and is hard as stone, this simply serves to give Rampage a headache, and frankly it doesn’t seem to make Handlebar’s day either. Eventually, in the course of the endless headbutting, Rampage nearly falls into a lava pit, and Handlebar saves him, after which Rampage decides that Handlebar is his new best friend.
Handlebar and Rampage come bounding up to the village, where Rampage headbutts the Kreng ship, knocking out the electronics and allowing BraveStarr to escape. From this point on, it’s all over for the Kreng, and the episode ends with Taran being reunited with Altrim while the Kreng are taken into custody. Hurrah!
In today’s adventure…
Handlebar stands at his bar, polishing glasses, and gibbering to himself about how both he and Rampage are nice people, but they initially didn’t get on until an act of kindness brought them together. He suggests that if you try being kind to people, you may find that you get a new friend. I don’t think I want a massive bull to be my friend. Though I suppose it’s preferable to it being my enemy.
Character checklist
Nothing to report here that couldn’t be gleaned from the above summary: there’s BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty, Handlebar, Rampage, Altrim, Taran, the Kreng captain, and some Kreng soldiers.
Insults
Before they understand that Rampage isn’t a baddy, Altrim calls him a “hideous beast” and Handlebar refers to him as “clumsy”. Otherwise, it’s all about the Kreng: Altrim describes them as “blasted Kreng” and “vermin”, while the Kreng captain addresses his soldiers as “fools” and says that one soldier in particular is a “disgrace to the Kreng army”.
Unnecessarily Violent Horse
It’s one of those times that Thirty/Thirty regularly goes well and truly over the top:
- He begins the episode in the pub, where he complains that there is no chance of a fight that evening, and then smashes a glass on his own head. He’s about to do exactly the same thing a second later, but is distracted by the distress call from Altrim.
- He behaves in his normal psychotic way for the majority of the battle with the Kreng, but then one of the Kreng has the temerity to shoot at him. This leads to a terrifying moment when he literally shakes with rage before shooting his assailant point-blank.
- When told that Taran is captured on board the Kreng ship, his immediate reaction is to try to shoot the Kreng ship, without any thought for the consequences. Luckily, BraveStarr is on hand to dissuade him.
Any of these incidents alone would be enough to make him the subject of an urgent internal investigation in any sane police department, but putting them all together brings me to the inescapable conclusion that Thirty/Thirty is not equipped with an ideal temperament for law enforcement, and it would probably be better for his blood pressure if he sought employment elsewhere.
Ears of the Wolf
After the Kreng retreat onto their ship with Taran, BraveStarr decides to use his wolfy ears to listen in on their plans. Thus it is that he learns the Kreng intend to trade Taran for BraveStarr. He learns this mere seconds before the Kreng broadcast this intention anyway, but I’m sure having this information half a minute in advance made all the difference.
Strength of the Bear
BraveStarr calls on the strength of the bear for no particularly apparent reason during the fight with the Kreng. I think it’s so he can pick up some Kreng and throw them face first into the floor, but he does that sort of thing quite regularly without needing the bear strength. Maybe he’s got a headache today. More justifiably, he also uses the bear strength later to pick up an enormous cannon and hurl it through the Kreng ship’s bulkhead.
Speed of the Puma
BraveStarr’s got shockingly lazy about announcing his puma speed lately. Yet again, he uses it but doesn’t bother to shout, “Speed of the Puma” first. Perhaps it’s because he’s usually in a hurry when he needs to use it, which would make sense.
Starr Rating
Not bad, this one, not bad at all. It’s action-packed, exciting, well-paced, and occasionally a little bit crazy without going bananas. I’m not convinced the Kreng are the most interesting baddies, but they do their job, and the characters of Altrim and Taran are nicely developed. Handlebar’s experience with Rampage was relatively good fun too, though as ever Thirty/Thirty is the episode’s highlight. This one’s definitely towards the top end of the scale.
BraveStarr Episode Review Site 