In which a big pig shows up to cause trouble.
This episode begins with a nice long panning shot through space, taking special care to linger on the three suns. This is presumably to reassure us, after last week’s nail-biting events, that the suns are still there and that Stampede hasn’t nicked them again. It is also possible that the panning shot is simply a bit of time-wasting. Who knows?
Anyway, once we finally get to New Texas, we find BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty talking to the captain of a spaceship, who has found a couple of stowaways called Dax and Butch on his vessel. BraveStarr takes Dax and Butch into custody, where he learns that they are attempting to evade a criminal called Slug Moody. Dax and Butch were responsible for getting Moody sent to prison, but now he’s escaped, they are aware he’ll be out looking for revenge.
They are absolutely right. Moody is already on New Texas. More specifically, he’s at the Hex-Agon, and he’s allied himself with Skuzz, Thunderstick and a new guy who doesn’t have a name but can be best described as a big pig in a traffic warden’s uniform. Moody offers this exciting trio a fortune in kerium crystals if they can help him capture Dax and Butch.
The next step is for Moody to waltz into Fort Kerium, accompanied by his new pals, where BraveStarr instantly tries to arrest him. Unfortunately, BraveStarr is singularly less than competent in this venture, and so it is that Dax and Butch decide they’d be better off nicking a vehicle and doing a runner. Moody follows, and so do BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty.
After an exciting chase through the desert, BraveStarr recovers Dax and Butch and takes them to hide out in the ruins of the Equestroids, Thirty/Thirty’s ancestors. He leaves the Shaman to supervise while he and Thirty/Thirty return to try to deal with Moody, and the Shaman occupies the time by telling yet another of his bloody ridiculous stories of BraveStarr’s youth. This story is intended to illustrate that Dax and Butch should stop running away from Moody; in effect, suggesting that they ought to challenge a hardened and dangerous criminal. I ask you: was this a particularly responsible message to deliver to impressionable children?
Dax and Butch join BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty in the final confrontation with Moody, but they don’t really contribute a lot other than sticking their tongues out at him. BraveStarr is the one who finally manages to do his job properly and arrest Moody, after which everyone makes time for a truly appalling joke and then laugh like easily amused hyenas.
In today’s adventure…
BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty reiterate the point that just because you’re small, it doesn’t mean you can’t be brave. This is clearly intended to remind children that they should tackle criminals.
Character checklist
Our characters this week are BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty, Judge JB, the Shaman, Moody, Skuzz, Thunderstick, the big pig, and Dax and Butch. I should probably point out that Butch is not enormously butch, nor does Dax look like Jadzia, regrettably.
Unnecessarily Violent Horse
Thirty/Thirty suggests that an appropriate form of justice for Moody and his mates would be to “stomp them into the sand”, a bloodthirsty approach that BraveStarr deflects with a terse, “Not now.” It would be to his credit if he’d added, “Not ever,” because as it stands, it looks like BraveStarr’s only objection to murder is that he doesn’t have time for it right now.
Insults
Moody regularly reminds viewers that he’s a dangerous criminal, and part of his criminal credentials seems to be dispensing lots of insults. Thus it is that he refers to Dax and Butch as “little worms”, “little varmints”, and “squealers” four times, as well as describing BraveStarr as a “pesky marshal”, addressing Skuzz, Thunderstick and the big pig as “idiots” and “lamebrains”, and reserving “pig nose” for the pig. Skuzz also has unkind words for Thunderstick and the big pig, calling them “lunkheads”, and Thirty/Thirty comes over fairly strongly by referring to the baddies as “scum”.
Eyes of the Hawk
Lost for something to do with himself at one point, BraveStarr uses the eyes of the hawk to locate Moody’s ship. This leads him straight to Moody, and brings the episode closer to a merciful end, so I’m all in favour.
Strength of the Bear
Moody picks up a weird cow-shaped vehicle at one point, presumably with intent to throw it at BraveStarr, though he moves so slowly that we never get to find out what he was planning on doing with it. This is because BraveStarr calls on his bear strength and punches the vehicle so hard that it crumbles away. I’m sure even bears can’t make metal crumble when they punch it, but I have had it up to here trying to apply logic to this bloody cartoon, so I won’t dwell on this. There’s another outbreak of bear strength later, which demonstrates a similar disregard for the laws of physics. Again, I’m not interested in going into this in depth.
Starr Rating
Try as it might, this episode can’t equal the heights of lunacy achieved by last week’s effort. It still puts in a valiant attempt at a few points, though, one of which is the slightly crazy conversation BraveStarr holds with Moody about whether criminals wear seatbelts or not. It’s also a little bit mad to imply that it’s a good idea to stand your ground against criminals with guns and an avowed intention to get their revenge on you. I come from a school of self-preservation-based thought that teaches that Dax and Butch were very sensible to run away and should not have been discouraged.
Otherwise, it’s a fairly by-the-numbers outing, managing to be pretty entertaining throughout, but not venturing anywhere near the realms of the classic. If you like BraveStarr in general, you’ll like this. If not, it won’t convert you. Incidentally, if you don’t like BraveStarr, what earthly purpose can you possibly have in reading this blog? Not that I don’t appreciate the web traffic, because I do. It’s just … surprising, that’s all.
BraveStarr Episode Review Site 