In which a little demon ogles Judge JB in her nightdress.
A flying saucer lands in the centre of town, opening up to reveal an individual who can be best described as a sort of demonic cherub. This freak of nature flies straight to Judge JB’s bedroom window, where he gazes in on her with an expression suggesting suppressed sexual longing. On discovering to his disappointment that Judge JB is fast asleep and, moreover, isn’t in the mood, the cherub thing decides to knock on the window and wake her up.
Judge JB sees the demonic cherub thing fluttering outside her window like a nightmare bat, and does what any reasonable person would do – she lets it in. Sorry, did I say “reasonable person”? I meant “completely insane person”. Seriously, if you saw a green thing with wings hovering around outside your bedroom window watching you sleep, wouldn’t your first reaction be to scream, then close the curtains and call the police? You surely wouldn’t invite the little bastard in for a cup of coffee.
Anyway, the thing introduces itself as Tromley, an observer from the Galactic Court, who has come to New Texas to do a sort of Ofsted report on Judge JB. That’s as maybe, but surely the Galactic Court’s remit doesn’t extend to carrying out acts of voyeurism on its judges? Judge JB decides to gloss over this breach of protocol, and agrees to the inspection with a heavy sigh.
And so Tromley accompanies Judge JB as she goes about her daily rounds, making notes on all her various minor violations of duty. It’s made clear pretty quickly that Tromley is a complete cock, so it’s immensely satisfying when BraveStarr gives him a ticket for parking his flying saucer in the middle of the high street, especially since BraveStarr is also being a complete cock in this scene. The whole thing is insane, but – as I say – satisfying.
The main action begins shortly thereafter, when a dude called Billy Bob comes running to Judge JB to ask for help settling a dispute in Acid Gulch between some ranchers and some miners. Apparently, both groups have permission to use the land in Acid Gulch, but they’ve decided to shoot each other instead. Judge JB heads out to Acid Gulch, accompanied by BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty, Billy Bob and the inevitable Tromley.
On arrival, Judge JB learns that the mining operations make the land unsuitable for ranching, so there’s a difficult dispute to settle. To make matters worse, Tromley reveals that if Judge JB makes a poor decision in this dispute, she will lose her job, and she’ll be replaced by Tromley himself. BraveStarr opts for an unhelpful approach at this juncture, loudly proclaiming that the whole thing has to be settled by Judge JB. Whose side are you on anyway, BraveStarr?
Well, it swiftly becomes apparent to BraveStarr that he should be on Judge JB’s side, because Tromley states in no uncertain terms that he will fire BraveStarr and Thirty/Thirty as soon as he becomes New Texas judge. BraveStarr doesn’t exactly help matters at this stage, instead choosing to rile things up even more by telling Thirty/Thirty he can beat Tromley up.
Ignoring her idiotic friends, Judge JB works frantically to come up with a legal solution to the dispute, but nothing springs to mind, so it’s fortunate that a distraction is provided by the arrival of some dingo outlaws. I’m pretty sure these guys were coyotes in the first episode, but frankly I don’t know what a dingo is, and I’m only familiar with coyotes from the Road Runner cartoon, so I’m not inclined to dispute it. Anyway, the ranchers and the miners work together to repel the dingoes, and in the wake of this cooperation, a deal is struck between them.
It only remains for Tromley to realise that he’s not going to get the judge job, and to ensure that he is suitably humiliated, Thirty/Thirty slightly bizarrely puts him in a paper bag while everyone else laughs their head off. Our heroes then head to the bar, where BraveStarr realises that he forgot to collect the parking fine from Tromley, and Judge JB and Thirty/Thirty rejoice in the knowledge that the parking fine will thus have to come out of BraveStarr’s salary. With friends like these…
In today’s adventure…
It’s all about teamwork again, in a moral delivered by Judge JB, who stares directly into the camera with a disconcertingly wide-eyed expression as she dispenses this information. I think she was actually trying to hypnotise me through the TV from the late 1980s.
Character checklist
It’s a relatively small cast of BraveStarr, Thirty/Thirty, Judge JB, Tromley, a Prairie Person called PD, Billy Bob, a rancher called Alf, Handlebar, and the dingoes.
Unnecessarily Violent Horse
Thirty/Thirty’s at it again, voicing his intention to “stomp” the dingo outlaws. On this occasion, instead of his usual rage-fuelled bellowing, he sounds incredibly calm about the prospect of dishing out such a violent death, which makes him come across as a complete sociopath. It’s almost reassuring, therefore, when Thirty/Thirty gets in a right temper a bit later on and threatens to pulverise Tromley.
Insults
Judge JB calls Tromley “buster”, after which Tromley and Thirty/Thirty get into a slanging match in which Thirty/Thirty says Tromley is a “little flying weasel”, and Tromley retaliates with “horse-face”.
Ears of the Wolf
BraveStarr uses this ability to get clear earshot of the approach of the dingo outlaws, which is lucky, since it means everyone is prepared, which in turn means Judge JB doesn’t lose her job. Hurrah!
Speed of the Puma
Really, BraveStarr? I don’t think you really needed to use this. You were already basically at Acid Gulch, but you just decided to put on your puma speed for no evident reason other than to get there before Judge JB did. Not cool.
Strength of the Bear
All too predictably, BraveStarr uses his silly bear strength in the final battle with the dingoes, though he doesn’t do much with it. I think he’s just showing off.
Starr Rating
This is a good episode, filled with all the traditional Filmation trademarks: it’s good-natured, entertaining, and ever so slightly insane. Tromley is a well-drawn unpleasant character, and it’s fun to see him fail to realise his ambition of becoming the judge. The final scene – in which Thirty/Thirty and Judge JB laugh about the parking ticket coming out of BraveStarr’s wages – could have come across mean-spirited, but it’s far from it: it actually conveys a great sense of camaraderie between our three heroes. The plot concerning the ranchers and miners is pretty by-the-numbers, but as it’s only a framework on which to hang the Judge JB and Tromley storyline, it serves its purpose well. And best of all, there’s no sign of Fuzz. All in all, here we have a strong episode which is most enjoyable.
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